a rolling stone waiting to be set in motion

I think I might be going insane!
At my job I stand in the same spot all day and pick plastic and garbage out of cardboard piles. So to make the time passby I basically talk to myself. I've made many plans

a) I'm going to write a screen play based on the book of Joshua (in the Bible). It's got way better fight scenes then Lord of the Rings

b) I've planned out shawn's man party- sevral times over, along with other parts of his wedding (much of which will never happen cuzz money is no object when your talking to yourself).

c) Trevor is a jerk (He never writes, calls or visits).

d) if Chad ever owned Mac's milk, I would probablly steal from him.

e) I need to get some friend's who aren't Poelmens (just to even it out)

f) girls are dumb, but making out is fun

g) If I was prime minister things would be different! I would cut taxes, increase spending in health care and other social services. and you say 'But how would you cut taxes and increase spending douglas?'. EASY!!!! we tax cigerrets, and we tax booze... it's time for a porno tax! Thats right, from now on all your porn will be heavily taxed! You're going to pay to play! (oh i said it!)

PORNOGRAPHY RAPES YOUR MIND (i saw that on a t-shirt once)

I'm re-vamping my rrom and I think I can just barely squeeze a couch in there... so, without further a due... does anyone want to give me a couch?

Oh yes, and after a few of my more risque pictures leaked on someone's site, creating riotess acts by many satisfied girls (and a few guys), I think I should open my own adult site. Not a porno site, no no! Just a site of me doing the things I love... but with no shirt. I think I could make a killing! This could put me through college!!!

I've noticed a lot of crappy 'survey's' circling the blogs and e-mails lately, so I've decided to make my own, which is unquestionablly better.

The General
Name: Doug(las) McKenzie
Who were you named after?: either a drunken uncle, or a drunken canadian icon.
Have you ever played strip poker?:NO!, it wasn't poker!

The Physical
Whats your nipple size?: dimes
What do you prefer, big butt or big belly?:Now thats a tough one! although with the butt you can always wlak in and say 'baby's got back!'

Entertainment
Most embarassing internet link you followed this week: The Mary-kate intervention link. I thought for sure she was on smack! but no, it was an eating disorder!
Favortie non-primetime sitcom: King of Queens! Let's see. a fat guy named doug with a blue-collar job who's married to a hot wife who works in a law-firm pulling in the big dollars. Yes, I'll take that Doug's life please!


Well, that concludes the survey, yes it was short, but no one really reads them anyways (or the skip the first half and get to the dirty stuff). and sorry for all the spelling errors, spell check no work 4 me

Well, a friend gave me a link to a PETA site (animal rights freaks) about fishing. I think every now and then I'll take something from their site and give the correct answer (they are all passion, no research!),

"Imagine reaching for an apple on a tree and having your hand suddenly impaled by a metal hook that drags you— the whole weight of your body pulling on that one hand—out of the air and into an atmosphere in which you cannot breathe. This is what fish—who have well-developed pain receptors —experience when they are hooked for “sport.”"

First of all there is a huge difference between the hand of a mammal and the mouth of a fish. The hand of a mammal is full of blood vessels and pain receptors, so of course it's gonna hurt like hell and you'd probablly bleed to death. But a human hand is not a fishs' mouth.

They say that fish have "well-developed pain receptors", This is true, except for in the mouth region of a fish which is mostly tough flesh with little to no pain receptors and blood vessels. Don't believe me? take a look at what fish eat... crayfish (like mini-fresh water lobster complete with pinchers) and other fish (with spinny fins). Because of this they have developed mouths which do not feel pain.

Fish breath air, not water. In order to do this thier gills need to be wet in order to absorb the water. As long as thier gills and bodies are wet, they can breath air for a time while out of water. They don't suddenly suffocate as soon as they are taken out of water.

I know that these people have other arguments for why sport fishing is wrong, and I will try to address these in the future.


***FUN FACT***
Remember those cute seals that green peace fought so hard to protect? (they weren't even endangered). Well, now that hunting is banned on them, seal population has boomed. This has lead to great stress on the fish population, putting at least one species endangered. One green peace representative was asked why they saved the seals but didn't have a campaign for the fish. He jokingly responded 'Only cute animals bring in the funds'.

Wow Green peace, thanks for being so conservation minded.

*PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE FOOD CHAIN... EAT MEAT!!!*

This Show has provided plenty of laughs, of course it only ran for one season and is now in re-runs.

SATURDAY, JUNE 21 - 2:33 PM

Gary told me that we'd be going to the Arizona desert to learn about spiritual survival from a Magic Indian. We met the Magic Indian and he walked us deep, deep into the desert. I went behind a cactus to take a pee, and when I came back, the Magic Indian was gone. Gary says they had irreconcilable differences, so they parted ways. I'm trapped in the middle of the desert with Gary Busey. Sweet Jesus, I'm scared.


SUNDAY, JUNE 22 - 10:13 AM

All right, I think I just made a big mistake. My body aches. I'm hungry. And I just woke up 18 inches from Gary Busey. I really miss things like a pillow, food, and an acceptable amount of personal space from Gary. Gary found some 'organic garlic' in a field and told me to eat it. Maybe I'm flippin' out from the sun, but it seems like the ground is...breathing.


TUESDAY, JULY 1 - 1:17 PM

I just had a horrible nightmare. I got killed in a plane crash, then I drowned in the ocean. Gary said the nightmare wasn't about my death, it was about my fear. He says fear stands for 'False-Evidence-Appearing-Real'. Gary promised to cure me of my fear. This seems pretty ironic, considering the thing I'm most afraid of is being around him, but I'm willing to give it a shot.


TUESDAY, JULY 1 - 4:01 PM

Gary took me deep into the woods where no one could hear me scream, then he pulled a knife on me. He wanted to stick the knife into my chest in order to let the fear leak out. I survived the attempted assault with a deadly weapon, and I was pretty happy about it. Then Gary decided to ask a favor of me. Considering he had opted against murdering me just an hour before, I figured I owed him one. The favor? After he dies, he wants me to take care of his frozen corpse in a homemade cryogenic casket that he keeps in a storage facility. Yep, we've officially just gone from scary to creepy.

This is truly art

What started out as a great weekend has turned into a week of pain! While at Caleb's cottage (a man's week-end) I was peer pressured into taking my shirt off (I left my beater on). well, now I have a crippling sunburn. I'm off work for 3 days. I had a doctor look at it, and he says I have 2nd degree burns, which I guess is bad.

The worst part is the pain (the fluid filled blisters suck to). if i keep my arms perfectly still i'm good, but if I walk, move, try to take a bath, or anything else it's just sheer pain. It's literally the worst pain I've ever felled in my entire life. I'm no longer puting lotion on it, cause it hurts too much to touch it.
I've never used the F word under my breath so much.

To top it all off, I could possible lose my job because of the time left. I work as a temp, so i phoned the placement agency (interesting note: when you phone the agency, you first get sent to the kingston call center, where you explain who you are, who you want to talk to and what about, then you get send to the person and explain everything all over again). So they said they would have to train someone to take my spot, and that instead of showing up to work on Thursday, i should phone them wensday to see whats up.

Luckily I work in a garbage dump (recycling plant) and no one is eager to take my place.

Yo! did the rapture happen, cause I'm pretty sure I should be in heaven!
So i'm trying to figure out where Dave's house is (group is ta his house) and everyone I know has disappeared. Caleb, Shawn and MIchelle have been away all weekend and never even told me where they were going, Chad may very well be dead! I phoned sara, not home, I phoned Kevin, not home. Even phoned Anita Pybus for directions, yup... she's nowhere to be found.

I didn't do much last weekend cuz I was feeling anti-social, and now this weekend, no one is to be found. Weekends are too precious to be wasted in this manor!



and if anyone is wondering.... YES.... girls are still dumb!